First off, I apologize again for how long it's been since my last post. I decided on a whim to completely overhaul sanctusreal.com and it kept me pretty busy for awhile. In making the new site I included a new band blog and most of my internet socializing energies have gone to that. So next time you think I'm slacking, check the Sanctus website. If that isn't updated, then you're right. I'm slacking.
I also decided on a whim (too many of my decisions happen this way) to ride my motorcycle from Ohio to Nashville for recording this week. I know and agree. A 500 mile bike trip is a pretty hefty event to be whimsical. Some might even say it's foolish. I don't have a defense for any of this except that the weather looked nice and I had a free day with a bug to ride.
Most of the ride looked like these photos. It was gorgeous and warm and my arms were sunburned like fried chickens (I don't know what that comparison means).
For a brief time I had my visor up.
Good idea since I love the breeze and having bugs all over my face.
Anyway, with an hour left of the trip, about the time it started getting dark, some serious clouds were rolling in. I stopped at a rest area and looked at the radar.
Which looked like this:
I'm the green marker.
I followed behind the storm for a little while but I was so close to Nashville and so tired of being on the bike, I threw on my rain suit and went for it. It was completely dark by this time and I was pretty deep into the woods on some major hills. I couldn't see through the rain on my visor and in order to stay on two wheels, I needed to slow down to about 35mph. Every time a semi-truck barreled past, I was blasted with a wave of grimy rain water splashing up from the freeway. It was pretty nerve-wrecking and it was stupid (got you covered moms) but for some reason the adventure seemed healthy. Also I'm a sucker.
In truth, there was a spiritual desire to my being on the road in a nasty thunderstorm. I don't know if anyone will relate or if I'll be able to give a good explanation but I'll give it a shot. Actually, there's a Snow Patrol lyric that is a good starting point.
For once I want to be the car crash. Not always just the traffic jam
from the song Headlights On Dark Roads on the albums Eyes Open
Now, I definitely did not want to be in a car crash. A traffic jam either. I wanted to be in a vulnerable place where God could meet me. I wanted to know how deep he loved me and how strong his hand was in my life. I'll admit that as a human I need to feel this from God, almost selfishly. The physical danger of riding in this thunderstorm put me in a physically vulnerable place and out of instinct, I was innately communing with God. I'm not talking about praying for safety like you would on a family vacation or how we pray for God to bless meals, I felt truly connected to the God who created me, the rain, and the freedom to ride in it. I felt his love and care for me and I felt safe, not just on the motorcycle (I definitely did not feel safe on the motorcycle), I felt safe in life. I was reassured that my days are looked after by a God who wants the best for me.
And I should clarify that I wasn't testing God or anything like that, I just know myself and knew riding in through the storm would bring my heart and my brain to the place they needed to be to hear God.
Anyway, It was a precious time with God for me. Piece of mind snuck inside my helmet for a little while and it was nice.
I don't have an explanation yet for why it sometimes takes "the car crash" for me as a human to connect deeply with God, but I know how much I cherish it. I look forward to the next time.
Is anyone else this way or am I on crazy pills?
My sweet little Magna.
dan
